Discerning a Monastic Vocation

When I was first ordained a priest, I was a curate at St. Thomas Episcopal Church in Savannah Georgia. Part of my duties there, which will come as no surprise to many, included ministry with youth. I not only worked with youth in the parish, but I also worked with youth in the Diocese through my membership on the Diocesan Youth Commission. I was the high church voice at summer camp and Happenings, and the youth actually loved it. I never had any problems finding someone to acolyte, especially as a thurifer. One late afternoon I was walking through the trees to the chapel to prepare for Mass, and when I arrived someone said to me, "Fr. Rob, I was watching you walk over here and couldn't stop looking because you looked like a monk walking in prayer." The comment made me smile and filled my heart with that strangely-warm feeling that Wesley wrote about.

For years I have had a yearning for monastic life. I have often made visits to monastaries, just to be there and to pray with the brothers or sisters. I always leave longing for the luxury to commit myself to more prayer and study, and wishing to be finally free of consumerism and the need of ownership. Yet, I was married, and though I am now single, I am still a father, and although I could have easily made vows and lived a simpler lifestyle, I never saw how a monastic life would ever be possible and work for me.

Over the past year or so, I have reconsidered the possibility of such a vocation. I have read about the new monasticism movement, and I have investigated more traditional monastic orders. I have decided that I would like to test a monastic vocation, and I have asked to apply for postulancy with a young monastic order in the Episcopal Church. I will not live in community, because I still feel called to be a parish priest, and because I want to be a faithful father to my son; so, I will be testing the monastic vocation as a solitary. If after the period of postulancy I still feel called to continue this journey, then I will make Simple Vows. The vows are the traditional monastic vows: obedience, stability, poverty, and chastity. What would these vows mean for me? And why do I feel called to this way of life anyway? How is it different from being being a priest or even a baptized Christian for that matter? In upcoming blog posts I will think about what a monastic vocation is, as I see it, what life as a solitary might be like, and what the vows I am being asked to make will mean for me.

I ask your prayers to accompany me on this journey.

Grace and peace to all y'all!